The first entry for this year
is an attempt at something mindblowing. Sigh, as I reread it though, the only fact that would blow you away is how aweful the writing is, crap! But anyway...
The first time I held Danielle
was wierd. See while I was pregnant, I was reading on the whole what to expect when you're expecting deal and so I dunno, I can't really point a finger to it but I didn't feel what I thought I'd feel. I mean, no rush of emotion, not a moment of "gasp-I-can't-breath-I'm-holding-my-baby," no dizzy spin of sheer love. No, I am not a horrible mother, I love my daughter. I just was feeling, thinking something else on that afternoon when they wheeled me into that neonatal intensive care unit to hold Baby Girl Cinco-Mueller for the first time. She was so tiny, so light, so pink, so warm, so alive. And so pretty. I cried. I cried because I knew from then on, that I'd better not screw this up. I am responsible for a life! Not just now, but for as long as she lives. I love Danielle, but on that first afternoon, May 29, 2007, all that registered to me was my doubts.
The first time I had coffee
after being pregnant, I could not remember the date. It was probably sometime end of July when I stopped breastfeeding. It was just instant coffee from the sashet, nothing special. But, that first sip, that hot, bitter taste of dark liquid momentarilly in my mouth then coarsing down my throat until it settled in a tummy empty yet of breakfast, could be likened to a sexual experience after some time of abstinence... such a high!
The first time I stepped on Cebu soil
after 78 working days of maternity leave was a mixture of relief of finally being back and missing Danielle who by that time, as we were cruising IT Park to get to my apartment, would be smiling up at anyone who she laid eyes on. Well, I don't flatter myself into thinking she's really smiling-smiling, but smiling that shows her dimples. Like a reflex yet, not because she finds me gorgeous so she just has to smile at the sight of me ;)
The first time I had a cigarrette
---but before I go there, let me recount the memory of what I didn't know was to be my last cigarette. But before that, a history. I use to subside on cigarettes and coffee. I could consume a whole pack of Marlborro reds in a day. Yes, in a day, within 24 hours: when I wake up, some 2 sticks, whenI wait for a jeep to take me to the office maybe a stick (quite a short wait), while walkiing to the office, a 7-10 minute walk, in my stilettoes a 12-15 walk, equals to 2 sticks, when I get to the office, I grab a cup of coffee, go out and smoke 2 more, at lunch, i smoke some 3 more, my next 15 minute break, I smoke some 2 more, I got off for dinner, some 3 more, I go home, some 3 more. So that is a lot of smoking! So then when I learned on that October evening, in the CR of Yellow cab while waiting for the pizza to be delivered, that I was pregnant, I never touched a cigarette again not kowing that the one I had after lunch was the last one I'd have in 10 months. And then last August 17, 2007, I had my celebratory last stick before quitting for good. And not a single one until after that. A slice of heaven...
First time on the night shift
felt funny. Until I saw the sunrise through the glass window. And saw the ocean. And saw the tower where the kiss took place. And I found my balance. And I found myself liking the night shift again.
First time back on trianing
was awkward for 5 minutes until I found my center and it was as if I was never gone. It's good to do training not lugging a baby around.
... everything else really is just like sex, you never really forget how it's done ;) or wait, was it riding the bike...?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
the year that was...
The year 2006...
Let's see, I started the year in somewhat near depression because of extremely missing someone. 1&1 moved out of Bigfoot and we settled in the 2nd floor parking lot area of PIPC in IT Park. It was a good move, a new place, a fresh start, a reprieve from the memories of Bigfoot.
Sometime February till March was an attempt to learn German (with all the note-taking, downloading of audio stuff and posting cardboards of Proper German Pronunciation on my wall and ceiling). Valentines Day was shit, I was suppose to take calls all day since it was my rest day but I opted to sleep instead. Yup, no date, no flowers, no chocolates so I bought myself the biggest Hershey's Dark Chocolate Bar I could find and chomped away on it all by myself. Also, Tom left us.
March was blah, Gail and Veni and Tony resigned. Nikko's birthday was on the 21st but I didn't see him at all, no beer together, nothing. I was promoted to trainer but was still on a probationary stage or something. And Lea was born!!! One of the cutest babies ever!
April was a bit ok, we went to Bantayan: Kristine N., Aaron, Jimmy, Paul, Tony, Veni and I and I learned how to float! It was a blast. Also, I turned 24 and he forgot my birthday, hahaha... I started this blog. I had my second surprise party from my friends (the first one was with my high school friends, at Katrina's place some 4 years ago). I had a small get-together at my place: Somer was still with Joven, Tin-tin was still obsessing about Yman. And I was hospitalized for 4 days due to too much smoking (URTI – Upper Respiratory Track Infection). I had myself admitted all by myself and I discharged myself as well, it felt so grown up: being sick all by myself. Liza was promoted to Supervisor, Jimbo was promoted as IT Administrator.
By May, Ute left for Germany, I was officially a Communications Trainer, I think I joined the QI meeting for the first time that month. Elaine visited me for a month. We went to Moal Boal (my first time) through the Trans-central high-way (my first time as well). My pimples were horrible. We had our summer party and then I was depressed again due to extreme missing. I went home to Cagayan de Oro for 5 days, that was an escape. I bought my phone and snapped pictures of myself all day, everyday (now I hardly use the cam except when I need the light). Also, Degie and I designed the escalation procedure which was a headache.
June came and this time my pimples were really scaring the shitlights out of me. I don't remember much what happened around June, hmmm... I think I harassed Marisse endlessly by calling her and lamenting about my pimples. And the missing never left me really... I think this was the height of longing, everything just triggered an on-slaught of memories and ugh! And Tom left 1&1 which left Dionie crying.
July, let's see... Dianne's 21st birthday, I don't think I gave her anything, sorry D. Julius and Michelle and Kristine left for Dubai. A lot of birthday parties during this month: Michelle, Jimmy, Paul and Rowie and Veni. Um, he was finishing his thesis.
August, I started my no rice diet and enrolled myself in a gym and lost 10 lbs. Also, I finally went to a derma and had her fix my face, in fairness, the pimple growth was lessened, I wasn't as depressed. Office-wise, I made the Email Manual: How to Write Better Emails. I had so much fun with that project but the trainings were not as fun since it was on the night shift. He was starting his vacation so at least we were on the same time zone, in the same continent.
September, I met up with him after not seeing him for 1 year, 1 month and 2 days (yeah, I'm pathetic for keeping count!). I met up with high school friends in Manila, went to Vigan, Laoag, Baguio and Banaue.
By October we went to Samal Island, Talikud Island and then took a 12 hour non-aircon bus ride to Surigao then a 3 hour ferry ride to Siargao, and back to Cebu then Bantayan again over some weekend. He stayed in Cebu for 2 weeks before going back to his home planet. Sigh, the missing is awful but not as bad... well, sometimes, it's quite bearable but there are days when it stings my eyes but not as often as I thought it would occur. And Rowie resigned. And I stopped smoking because I found out I'm pregnant.
November we transferred to the new building, we're on the 8th floor and we have a beautiful view of the city, we can even see the sea! Jan left for Garmany. Bhuee resigned. Sai resigned. Rowie and Somer left for Dubai. Elaine turned 20. I first heard the baby's heartbeat.
December... made (still polishing) the English Manual on Grammar and Pronunciation and will start incorporating this to the new-hires on the first week of training, effective January 2, 2007. Imagine me teach English: tenses, subject-verb agreement, pronunciation, oh dear god... Had Christmas Eve lunch with the gang and then dinner with Nikko and Vanessa. Extremely looking forward to going home to Cagayan de Oro, my heart starts beating fast just thinking about being home... Also, I started talking to God again after the longest cold-shoulder treatment from me.
The year 2007...
Expecting:
A baby!
More work
More puking
More missing
More blessings
I still believe that the good things that happen to me happen because somehow, I deserve them; like a promotion for instance: I got promoted because I'm good with what I do. But there are a lot of other things that happen to me and I honestly don't know why since I don't really deserve them... Lucky bitch, maybe... But I'm more at peace thanking someone I know but have disregarded for the longest time... It's not something I want to advertise, I believe faith is a private connection between you and your God, however you perceive your God to be...
More reasons to be thankful for, yes, even for the most ordinary things because I have wonderful friends who look after my well-being, buy me fruits and cook me veggies (thanks Van!), buy me wicked things like chocolates and lets me hold an unlit cigarette just so (for props purposes)... hehe. Makes cucumber salad for me (thanks Candy!). One time Jimmy bought me Gatorade and I asked, “What's this for?” and he said, “To replenish what your body has lost,” (referring to all the puking) and I said, “Like my virginity?” and we all laughed for a good 10 minutes. And there's Gail and Tin-tin who entertain me to wits end with all the boy problems and what not... Family who always pray for my safety and remind me to eat during meal hours and drink my vitamins and milk... Nikko who provides me with sane conversations, Claudia and Tom who update their gallery to make me smile, hehehe, Marisse who sends me butt-cheek sms about missing me and all, sigh... Yup, there is a lot to be thankful for... And of course, there's this one guy who makes me smile all the time...
Maybe the glass is half-full after all... :)
Happy New Year Everyone! May it be more prosperous, filled with great friendships, work satisfaction, great love and lots of orgasms.
Let's all pray for world peace...
Let's see, I started the year in somewhat near depression because of extremely missing someone. 1&1 moved out of Bigfoot and we settled in the 2nd floor parking lot area of PIPC in IT Park. It was a good move, a new place, a fresh start, a reprieve from the memories of Bigfoot.
Sometime February till March was an attempt to learn German (with all the note-taking, downloading of audio stuff and posting cardboards of Proper German Pronunciation on my wall and ceiling). Valentines Day was shit, I was suppose to take calls all day since it was my rest day but I opted to sleep instead. Yup, no date, no flowers, no chocolates so I bought myself the biggest Hershey's Dark Chocolate Bar I could find and chomped away on it all by myself. Also, Tom left us.
March was blah, Gail and Veni and Tony resigned. Nikko's birthday was on the 21st but I didn't see him at all, no beer together, nothing. I was promoted to trainer but was still on a probationary stage or something. And Lea was born!!! One of the cutest babies ever!
April was a bit ok, we went to Bantayan: Kristine N., Aaron, Jimmy, Paul, Tony, Veni and I and I learned how to float! It was a blast. Also, I turned 24 and he forgot my birthday, hahaha... I started this blog. I had my second surprise party from my friends (the first one was with my high school friends, at Katrina's place some 4 years ago). I had a small get-together at my place: Somer was still with Joven, Tin-tin was still obsessing about Yman. And I was hospitalized for 4 days due to too much smoking (URTI – Upper Respiratory Track Infection). I had myself admitted all by myself and I discharged myself as well, it felt so grown up: being sick all by myself. Liza was promoted to Supervisor, Jimbo was promoted as IT Administrator.
By May, Ute left for Germany, I was officially a Communications Trainer, I think I joined the QI meeting for the first time that month. Elaine visited me for a month. We went to Moal Boal (my first time) through the Trans-central high-way (my first time as well). My pimples were horrible. We had our summer party and then I was depressed again due to extreme missing. I went home to Cagayan de Oro for 5 days, that was an escape. I bought my phone and snapped pictures of myself all day, everyday (now I hardly use the cam except when I need the light). Also, Degie and I designed the escalation procedure which was a headache.
June came and this time my pimples were really scaring the shitlights out of me. I don't remember much what happened around June, hmmm... I think I harassed Marisse endlessly by calling her and lamenting about my pimples. And the missing never left me really... I think this was the height of longing, everything just triggered an on-slaught of memories and ugh! And Tom left 1&1 which left Dionie crying.
July, let's see... Dianne's 21st birthday, I don't think I gave her anything, sorry D. Julius and Michelle and Kristine left for Dubai. A lot of birthday parties during this month: Michelle, Jimmy, Paul and Rowie and Veni. Um, he was finishing his thesis.
August, I started my no rice diet and enrolled myself in a gym and lost 10 lbs. Also, I finally went to a derma and had her fix my face, in fairness, the pimple growth was lessened, I wasn't as depressed. Office-wise, I made the Email Manual: How to Write Better Emails. I had so much fun with that project but the trainings were not as fun since it was on the night shift. He was starting his vacation so at least we were on the same time zone, in the same continent.
September, I met up with him after not seeing him for 1 year, 1 month and 2 days (yeah, I'm pathetic for keeping count!). I met up with high school friends in Manila, went to Vigan, Laoag, Baguio and Banaue.
By October we went to Samal Island, Talikud Island and then took a 12 hour non-aircon bus ride to Surigao then a 3 hour ferry ride to Siargao, and back to Cebu then Bantayan again over some weekend. He stayed in Cebu for 2 weeks before going back to his home planet. Sigh, the missing is awful but not as bad... well, sometimes, it's quite bearable but there are days when it stings my eyes but not as often as I thought it would occur. And Rowie resigned. And I stopped smoking because I found out I'm pregnant.
November we transferred to the new building, we're on the 8th floor and we have a beautiful view of the city, we can even see the sea! Jan left for Garmany. Bhuee resigned. Sai resigned. Rowie and Somer left for Dubai. Elaine turned 20. I first heard the baby's heartbeat.
December... made (still polishing) the English Manual on Grammar and Pronunciation and will start incorporating this to the new-hires on the first week of training, effective January 2, 2007. Imagine me teach English: tenses, subject-verb agreement, pronunciation, oh dear god... Had Christmas Eve lunch with the gang and then dinner with Nikko and Vanessa. Extremely looking forward to going home to Cagayan de Oro, my heart starts beating fast just thinking about being home... Also, I started talking to God again after the longest cold-shoulder treatment from me.
The year 2007...
Expecting:
A baby!
More work
More puking
More missing
More blessings
I still believe that the good things that happen to me happen because somehow, I deserve them; like a promotion for instance: I got promoted because I'm good with what I do. But there are a lot of other things that happen to me and I honestly don't know why since I don't really deserve them... Lucky bitch, maybe... But I'm more at peace thanking someone I know but have disregarded for the longest time... It's not something I want to advertise, I believe faith is a private connection between you and your God, however you perceive your God to be...
More reasons to be thankful for, yes, even for the most ordinary things because I have wonderful friends who look after my well-being, buy me fruits and cook me veggies (thanks Van!), buy me wicked things like chocolates and lets me hold an unlit cigarette just so (for props purposes)... hehe. Makes cucumber salad for me (thanks Candy!). One time Jimmy bought me Gatorade and I asked, “What's this for?” and he said, “To replenish what your body has lost,” (referring to all the puking) and I said, “Like my virginity?” and we all laughed for a good 10 minutes. And there's Gail and Tin-tin who entertain me to wits end with all the boy problems and what not... Family who always pray for my safety and remind me to eat during meal hours and drink my vitamins and milk... Nikko who provides me with sane conversations, Claudia and Tom who update their gallery to make me smile, hehehe, Marisse who sends me butt-cheek sms about missing me and all, sigh... Yup, there is a lot to be thankful for... And of course, there's this one guy who makes me smile all the time...
Maybe the glass is half-full after all... :)
Happy New Year Everyone! May it be more prosperous, filled with great friendships, work satisfaction, great love and lots of orgasms.
Let's all pray for world peace...
A Very Selfish Christmas Wish List
1.) All expenses paid White Christmas Celebration (Location: Karlsruhe, Germany)
expenses include but not limited to:
round trip ticket to Germany
1 month Hotel Accomodation with free breakfast
200 euros per diem living allowance not to mention winter apparel shopping
2.) If number 1 is not affordable, maybe you can try bringing Karsten here (he's not that expensive... I think... I mean he seemed ok being housed in a 500/day pensionhouse...)
3.) House and lot in Cebu (nothing grand, just a 1,000 sqm lot with a nice american style ranch, aka Camp John Hay look-a-like house)
4.) Honda Accord or Toyota Vios (although I can't drive... but fair enough, I'll pay for the lessons)
5.) Huge bank account that will allow me to travel the to the following places:
Italy
Switzerland
France
New Zealand
Australia
Nepal
-with all the tourist perks
(do the math!)
6.) Intensive German Language Lessons for free until I learn it!
7.) World Peace :)
expenses include but not limited to:
round trip ticket to Germany
1 month Hotel Accomodation with free breakfast
200 euros per diem living allowance not to mention winter apparel shopping
2.) If number 1 is not affordable, maybe you can try bringing Karsten here (he's not that expensive... I think... I mean he seemed ok being housed in a 500/day pensionhouse...)
3.) House and lot in Cebu (nothing grand, just a 1,000 sqm lot with a nice american style ranch, aka Camp John Hay look-a-like house)
4.) Honda Accord or Toyota Vios (although I can't drive... but fair enough, I'll pay for the lessons)
5.) Huge bank account that will allow me to travel the to the following places:
Italy
Switzerland
France
New Zealand
Australia
Nepal
-with all the tourist perks
(do the math!)
6.) Intensive German Language Lessons for free until I learn it!
7.) World Peace :)
pakshet!
It's quite amazing, for someone who's oozing with confidence (or pretends to be anyway), the most minute thingSSS depress me: PIMPLES!!!!!
It's pathetic, I have never been able to deal with it and accept it: all my life I've had a pimple-free existence (except for the occasional hormonal zit that comes and goes) and now, it's like they're making up for lost time! And I've been hearing the most ridiculous advices:
1. Don't mind them, the more you pay attention to them, the more they'll go out of their way to piss you off (imagine that: thinking pimples who go out of their way to annoy me and on purposely mock me!!! what an evolution!)
2. Don't smoke (I supppose but I've been smoking since 18 and 6 years later, they decide show up)
3. Don't eat chocolates (but that's staple food, and will in fact go overboard when ovulating :-( )
4. No peanuts (I never liked peanuts, how does that tie up?)
5. Wash your face using lukewarm water and rinse off using cold water (this actually makes sense)
6. Have sex (hmmm, now that is worth considering as I have not tried that for some time... lemme see how I can incorporate this)
And there is the debate-worthy option of going to the dermatologist:
To go to the derma or to not go to the derma, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune of having pimples or
take arms against a sea of troubles
and by opposing, i.e., going to the derma, end them!
So there I was having made up my mind that yes, I will go see a dermatologist, and then friends convince me so vehemently: "NO!" Because apparently, the derma will scar my face, or leave it all fucked up so that I'd have to depend on her treatments and in doing so, provide food on her table (it's freaking expensive to go to the good ones and I figured that if indeed I do decide to have a consultation I might as well visit the best of the lot), or will prescribe me a treatment or something so ridiculously expensive that only her clinic can create!
OMG, I am so freaking out, I can't believe I'm blogging and blabbibg about pimples... but it looks like they're here to stay, so instead of being pissed about them and have everyday of my life ruined because of their choice of residence (MY FACE!), I might as well include them as part and parcel of my look, pakshet!
(ok, i'm done ranting, i now want to smoke, i'm going cucking frazy! promise this is the last bitch fit on something pathetic... :s)
It's pathetic, I have never been able to deal with it and accept it: all my life I've had a pimple-free existence (except for the occasional hormonal zit that comes and goes) and now, it's like they're making up for lost time! And I've been hearing the most ridiculous advices:
1. Don't mind them, the more you pay attention to them, the more they'll go out of their way to piss you off (imagine that: thinking pimples who go out of their way to annoy me and on purposely mock me!!! what an evolution!)
2. Don't smoke (I supppose but I've been smoking since 18 and 6 years later, they decide show up)
3. Don't eat chocolates (but that's staple food, and will in fact go overboard when ovulating :-( )
4. No peanuts (I never liked peanuts, how does that tie up?)
5. Wash your face using lukewarm water and rinse off using cold water (this actually makes sense)
6. Have sex (hmmm, now that is worth considering as I have not tried that for some time... lemme see how I can incorporate this)
And there is the debate-worthy option of going to the dermatologist:
To go to the derma or to not go to the derma, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune of having pimples or
take arms against a sea of troubles
and by opposing, i.e., going to the derma, end them!
So there I was having made up my mind that yes, I will go see a dermatologist, and then friends convince me so vehemently: "NO!" Because apparently, the derma will scar my face, or leave it all fucked up so that I'd have to depend on her treatments and in doing so, provide food on her table (it's freaking expensive to go to the good ones and I figured that if indeed I do decide to have a consultation I might as well visit the best of the lot), or will prescribe me a treatment or something so ridiculously expensive that only her clinic can create!
OMG, I am so freaking out, I can't believe I'm blogging and blabbibg about pimples... but it looks like they're here to stay, so instead of being pissed about them and have everyday of my life ruined because of their choice of residence (MY FACE!), I might as well include them as part and parcel of my look, pakshet!
(ok, i'm done ranting, i now want to smoke, i'm going cucking frazy! promise this is the last bitch fit on something pathetic... :s)
mundane
defining moments:
breath-taking sunrises
humbling sunsets
enjoying the beach with someone special
gentle kisses
holding hands
the occassional "i'm-happy-coz-i'm-with-you" hug
saying "i love you" and meaning it
being under the covers with a storm brewing outside
a "feel-good" song on a bad day
awesome cloud formation
summer breeze
remembering goodtimes and knowing that there will be more to come
the conventional roses
having someone seranade you
being remembered (i don't know how you'd know though)
having a little more than enough money to spend on the 14th or 29th of the month
unexpected sms from half way across the world ;-)
good books, movies, conversations, food
friends
family members praying for you even though they know you don't pray
losing wieght even if it's just 2 lbs.
clear night sky
The list goes on I must admit. I had to make one because lately I feel trapped in a grey life with a too seldom splash of fuchsia to add perk to an otherwise mundane existence. While I did not dream of 007 adventures, I guess I didn't expect a home-work-home routine either. I feel like I haven't seen enough awe-inspiring sights, haven't been to enough interesting places, haven't experienced enough blog-worthy moments, I can't even swim, for the love of god!
What must it be like to have 4 seasons: to see them change, to smell the change and feel the change, to be outside on the first fall of light snow, to have autumn and have leaves really fall in a leaf-shower of sorts, to be in a field of flowers on some brilliant spring day and to be out at 9pm and still have sunlight, and see the stars from the desert (to quote Tom)...
And I have to remind myself that at least on my side of the world, the sunrises and sunsets are just as glorious... And if it's nothing but boring July rain, then I guess it's just me and my 2 sticks of Marlboro for the day (I'm trying to quit).
breath-taking sunrises
humbling sunsets
enjoying the beach with someone special
gentle kisses
holding hands
the occassional "i'm-happy-coz-i'm-with-you" hug
saying "i love you" and meaning it
being under the covers with a storm brewing outside
a "feel-good" song on a bad day
awesome cloud formation
summer breeze
remembering goodtimes and knowing that there will be more to come
the conventional roses
having someone seranade you
being remembered (i don't know how you'd know though)
having a little more than enough money to spend on the 14th or 29th of the month
unexpected sms from half way across the world ;-)
good books, movies, conversations, food
friends
family members praying for you even though they know you don't pray
losing wieght even if it's just 2 lbs.
clear night sky
The list goes on I must admit. I had to make one because lately I feel trapped in a grey life with a too seldom splash of fuchsia to add perk to an otherwise mundane existence. While I did not dream of 007 adventures, I guess I didn't expect a home-work-home routine either. I feel like I haven't seen enough awe-inspiring sights, haven't been to enough interesting places, haven't experienced enough blog-worthy moments, I can't even swim, for the love of god!
What must it be like to have 4 seasons: to see them change, to smell the change and feel the change, to be outside on the first fall of light snow, to have autumn and have leaves really fall in a leaf-shower of sorts, to be in a field of flowers on some brilliant spring day and to be out at 9pm and still have sunlight, and see the stars from the desert (to quote Tom)...
And I have to remind myself that at least on my side of the world, the sunrises and sunsets are just as glorious... And if it's nothing but boring July rain, then I guess it's just me and my 2 sticks of Marlboro for the day (I'm trying to quit).
these damn blogthings
I am ridiculously fascinated by these blogthings. Apparently, "A Blogthing is a quiz, meme, or toy you can put in your blog or journal."
Examples of which are:
*Are you a lady? --of which according to the result i am only 32%... (HMMM, COULD BE...)
*What's Your Power Color?
apparently magneta:
Your Power Color Is Magenta
At Your Highest:
You energize yourself and push others to suceed.
At Your Lowest:
You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed.
In Love:
You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. (REALLY NOW?!-SCOFFING HERE)
How You're Attractive:
Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you.
Your Eternal Question:
"What is my next source of inspiration?"
*What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. (LAUGHING OUT LOUD HERE)
The results crack me up and I am surprised at how biased I am, because although I do not believe the psychological bullshit that explains them, I tend to nod along when I like what I read and scoff out loud at the monitor when I totally disagree! Amazing!
Examples of which are:
*Are you a lady? --of which according to the result i am only 32%... (HMMM, COULD BE...)
*What's Your Power Color?
apparently magneta:
Your Power Color Is Magenta
At Your Highest:
You energize yourself and push others to suceed.
At Your Lowest:
You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed.
In Love:
You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. (REALLY NOW?!-SCOFFING HERE)
How You're Attractive:
Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you.
Your Eternal Question:
"What is my next source of inspiration?"
*What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. (LAUGHING OUT LOUD HERE)
The results crack me up and I am surprised at how biased I am, because although I do not believe the psychological bullshit that explains them, I tend to nod along when I like what I read and scoff out loud at the monitor when I totally disagree! Amazing!
current mood--so true
I'm broke but I'm happy ~
I'm poor but I'm kind ~
I'm short but I'm healthy ~
I'm high but I'm grounded ~
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed ~
I'm lost but I'm hopeful ~
I feel drunk but I'm sober ~
I'm young and I'm underpaid ~
I'm tired but I'm working ~
I care but I'm restless ~
I'm here but I'm really gone ~
I'm wrong and I'm sorry ~
I'm free but I'm focused ~
I'm green but I'm wise ~
I'm hard but I'm friendly ~
I'm sad but I'm laughing ~
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit ~
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby...
i don't want songs in my blog, i could think up of the same message with originality but i had to make an exception here as it hits right on the money! :-)
I'm poor but I'm kind ~
I'm short but I'm healthy ~
I'm high but I'm grounded ~
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed ~
I'm lost but I'm hopeful ~
I feel drunk but I'm sober ~
I'm young and I'm underpaid ~
I'm tired but I'm working ~
I care but I'm restless ~
I'm here but I'm really gone ~
I'm wrong and I'm sorry ~
I'm free but I'm focused ~
I'm green but I'm wise ~
I'm hard but I'm friendly ~
I'm sad but I'm laughing ~
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit ~
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby...
i don't want songs in my blog, i could think up of the same message with originality but i had to make an exception here as it hits right on the money! :-)
on going home
How can 2 emotions so different from each other attack me all at once? Going home to Cagayan de Oro both depressed me and destressed me. After a 1 year absence from the place I spent 22 years at, I finally went home for a short visit.
So what destressed me? I guess it was catching up with my mom and sisters on the things that happened in my life since I last saw them, having my dad cook food for me, sleeping till noon without anyone bothering me, going out with friends with only P500 in my pocket and knowing I'd still have a blast, getting drunk and still knowing that I will be brought home safe and sound and sober (well, almost), staring blankly at the ceiling and knowing that I don't have to take off the cobwebs I'm seeing both on the ceiling panels and in my mind, missing someone and liking it, eating vegetables, drinking clean tap water, being able to actually sit on the toilet for hours with a book (something i havent done in 1 year, which i totally miss), having someone at my beck and call (sisters here), have the curtains by my bed tickle my side (hehe, best way to fall asleep), and taking a 1 hour bath and enjoying a blockbuster movie for a mere P55 at premier seats! Yes, that would be the gist of it.
Cagayan de oro is my refuge, an escape from the both the rush and boredom of life in cebu. A get-away from the memories that can still stop me short of breath, cut me in the middle of a sentence and lose me in my train of thinking. It's my nook in my turbulent, however limited world. It's not a place to live in, but a place to go home to for a while.
What depressed me? Must be the reality of bills to pay, my sisters' college education, knowing that enrollment will be by June, knowing that by Monday I'd be back in cebu, going through my humdrum routine of work-dinner-out-and-home. knowing I'd be back to a small oven of a room (I love my balcony though), eating grilled food, missing someone and being agitated about it, always wanting comapny (somehow I can't stand the silence of being alone in the city), having hurried baths, washing after my own dishes, always making sure i'm drinking bottled water.
After merely 2 years in cebu, I've come to view the sights and sounds of the city with mixed emotions and thoughts. A bittersweet melting pot of experiences and memories: some i can do with out, some i must hold on to for survival. At some point I hate it but as I was boarding the ship to take me back to Cebu, I realized that I always look forward to going back inspite and despite of the empty hollow silence i hear in the midst of the bustling traffic, poverty, heat, and chaotic pace of living.
Some pics from CdO:
So what destressed me? I guess it was catching up with my mom and sisters on the things that happened in my life since I last saw them, having my dad cook food for me, sleeping till noon without anyone bothering me, going out with friends with only P500 in my pocket and knowing I'd still have a blast, getting drunk and still knowing that I will be brought home safe and sound and sober (well, almost), staring blankly at the ceiling and knowing that I don't have to take off the cobwebs I'm seeing both on the ceiling panels and in my mind, missing someone and liking it, eating vegetables, drinking clean tap water, being able to actually sit on the toilet for hours with a book (something i havent done in 1 year, which i totally miss), having someone at my beck and call (sisters here), have the curtains by my bed tickle my side (hehe, best way to fall asleep), and taking a 1 hour bath and enjoying a blockbuster movie for a mere P55 at premier seats! Yes, that would be the gist of it.
Cagayan de oro is my refuge, an escape from the both the rush and boredom of life in cebu. A get-away from the memories that can still stop me short of breath, cut me in the middle of a sentence and lose me in my train of thinking. It's my nook in my turbulent, however limited world. It's not a place to live in, but a place to go home to for a while.
What depressed me? Must be the reality of bills to pay, my sisters' college education, knowing that enrollment will be by June, knowing that by Monday I'd be back in cebu, going through my humdrum routine of work-dinner-out-and-home. knowing I'd be back to a small oven of a room (I love my balcony though), eating grilled food, missing someone and being agitated about it, always wanting comapny (somehow I can't stand the silence of being alone in the city), having hurried baths, washing after my own dishes, always making sure i'm drinking bottled water.
After merely 2 years in cebu, I've come to view the sights and sounds of the city with mixed emotions and thoughts. A bittersweet melting pot of experiences and memories: some i can do with out, some i must hold on to for survival. At some point I hate it but as I was boarding the ship to take me back to Cebu, I realized that I always look forward to going back inspite and despite of the empty hollow silence i hear in the midst of the bustling traffic, poverty, heat, and chaotic pace of living.
Some pics from CdO:
summer blues
I once told someone that missing him hits me in waves, sometimes it's the soft roll and then the gentle ebb of the wave, the continuity of the action, that defines it's similarity. The longing, like the waves that always hit the shore then roll away, has been a constant disposition that I have learned to deal with albiet with resignation and I have been able to manage to go through the motions of a routinary existence. That sounds waaayyy too dramatic and I don't want you to think that my everyday reality depends solely on a person or is even dependent on anything, because it's not. It's not as if my life is hanging on every plan he makes, every exchange of word we have, because it doesn't. It's just that with him, there are more than seven colors in a rainbow.
Today however, I feel as though a tsunami has hit me and I'm just reverberating with the missing... and there is not much to do but wait for the waters to recede... and it's the waiting, the in between moments that get to me...
Today however, I feel as though a tsunami has hit me and I'm just reverberating with the missing... and there is not much to do but wait for the waters to recede... and it's the waiting, the in between moments that get to me...
The Prophet: (by Kahlil Gibran)
When I tell my friends about my blog, I always put in a disclaimer that I want to achieve the funny-slash-stupid-but-well-written-anyway edge to it and that they shouldn't expect anything profound because seriously, these entries are nothing more than either rantings in general, bitch fits and just me feeling the need to tell the world or those interested about my inane issues :)
This blog is a hodge-podge of all the miscellaneous things in my mind. Like this particular entry for instance, not much to it really...
This is a particular favorite chapter of mine from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet:
On Love
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
This blog is a hodge-podge of all the miscellaneous things in my mind. Like this particular entry for instance, not much to it really...
This is a particular favorite chapter of mine from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet:
On Love
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
moalboal memories
After not seeing my youngest sister Elaine for almost a year, she finally visited me here in Cebu and on her first weekend here, the guys and I (guys here refering to Jimmy, Paul, Aaron, Rowie, Julius, Michelle, Dionie, and JT) decided to go to Moalboal to enjoy the sea, sand and sun! We agreed to meet at PIPC at 6am because the route that we decided to take was not the usual drive throught the south hi-way but rather through the mountains, seriously. We climbed up Busai Hills and went through Ayala Heights, them Balamban, Toledo and finally exit the aweful, dusty road and coasted through the hi-way. As usual, 6am meeting time was too idealistic. I set my alarm clock at 5:30am but honestly, didn't hear a thing at all! Had Paul not rang me, I swear, Elaine and I would have slept through the entire morning. Paul called me at 6:45 and so Elaine and I hopped around the house, not bathed, just brushed our teeth, washed our face and vamoosh, gone from the house in 15 minutes! And of course, when you need a taxi, you can't find one! Finally a cab passed by (just when we were about to take a jeep) and took us to PIPC. We got there around 7:15, hehe, sorry guys. But our case was not the worse! Dionie and boyfriend JT were waaaaaaaayyyy more late than me and Elaine. They showed up at 8am, beat that!
Anyway, up the mountain we drove and the point of taking that route was to stop by the Island in the Sky perch point in Balamban. What's so speacial about this is that from the mountains, one can see the lights of 2 cities: Cebu City and Toledo City. The guys from Cebu said that before, the perch point use to be free of charge and a group of friends can just sit around some chairs and bring beer along and just enjoy the view. When we got there however, the place was kinda developed already, there was a gate and a canteen of sorts and a pool to boot! And an entrace fee of P50, which isn't much actually but heller, we weren't really up to paying that amount to just stand for 10 minutes to enjoy the view, and after all, Moalboal was a-waitin'! So we stopped the car (revo actually that we rented and Paul drove) and looked out for a while, like say 5 minutes and then drove on. We finally reached Moalboal at around 12 noon, after 5 stops for CR issues, food hoarding and just stretching. Dionie took care of the accomodations, he rented a 2 room cottage through a friend and aside from the food we bought from Carcar (lechon and lechon manok) we brought along pork for grilling!
So anyway, Moalboal is not like Bantayan wherein it's all a long stretch of powdery sand shore. Moalboal does have white sand but was damn rocky!!! When we got there, it was high tide, the current was kinda strong but who cared! 5 steps into the beach, sand-slash-rock-slash-corals gave way still to a sand-slash-rock-slash-corals slope of sorts. So it sloped down and all of a sudden got really deep which is baaaaddd for people like me who cannot swim! Thank god for my pink raft which Jimmy inflated himself! We had fun with that hehehe. Let me narrate different story that took place some 6 summers ago. My friends from CDO and I went to Camiguin to again, enjoy the tropical heat. The beach was kinda the same as that of Moalboal's rocky and steep coastline and fish actually swam towards us! While my friends were shrieking with glee at the colorful fish ("flounder!" they'd say in awe, mine was "FLOUNDER!" said in a horrified voice) I was running away from it! I mean it! I know they couldn't possibly bite me and hurt me but I dunno, I find it wierd for a colorful slimmy little creature to nib at my legs! So since the beach can't help it, it is after all the habitat for fish, I avioded the beach during the entire week we were there. Pathetic, I know... Anyway, back to Moalboal, the raft became boring after a while but JT and Dionie had some snorkling gear so I borrowed one just for the heck of it. I always aviod goggles in the beach because I honestly don't want see and know what was under water. But on this instance, what the hell, I tried on the snorkling stuff and my god, it was beautiful!!! The fish were sooo colorful and I dunno, they weren't scary to me anymore. The corals were interesting and the holes in the sand ground where filled with sea urchines! And one time, I saw an urchine out of the hole and I panicked and drank mouthfuls of seawater! Schools of little fish actually swam near my friends' legs! And there's one very curious fish that wasn't scared of me at all trying to reach for it! It was by far, one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced... aside from being able to float the right way, which always shockes me with a smile, by the way, it's like, I can't get over being able to float, hehe.
We had a pink sunset that Saturday, beautiful again... made me miss someone again :( Anyhow, towards night fall, the guys grilled the meat and we had a yummy dinner but the bad part was I had a pounding headache around 8pm and slept early. Sunday was just as fun. At around 6am, Paul and Jimmy and Elaine drove Rowie to San Tander for her to catch the fast craft/pump boat to Dumaguete and we then just waited for her in Moalboal since all she planned to do was greet her parents a happy wedding anniversary anyway. She got back around 4pm, we picked her up near the Moalboal market place and then drove to Cebu City. Funny thing, we ran oout of gas!!! The next gasoline station was 4km away but the people in the area where the car died out on us were so nice. One guy drove Paul to the gasoline station to buy some 3 litres of diesel and Paul just paid him. What was hilarious was that Paul hates motorcycle rides! So while he was riding, he was already picturing his guts splattered along the hi-way with blood everywhere! hehe, poor Paul... we finally had things going so we sped back to Cebu, dropped Dionie and JT off, picked up Kang from her place, had dinner at Manila Foodshoppe, went to Mountain View to enjoy the view of Cebu City's lights... perfect end to a perfect weekend...
some pics of the weekend:
Anyway, up the mountain we drove and the point of taking that route was to stop by the Island in the Sky perch point in Balamban. What's so speacial about this is that from the mountains, one can see the lights of 2 cities: Cebu City and Toledo City. The guys from Cebu said that before, the perch point use to be free of charge and a group of friends can just sit around some chairs and bring beer along and just enjoy the view. When we got there however, the place was kinda developed already, there was a gate and a canteen of sorts and a pool to boot! And an entrace fee of P50, which isn't much actually but heller, we weren't really up to paying that amount to just stand for 10 minutes to enjoy the view, and after all, Moalboal was a-waitin'! So we stopped the car (revo actually that we rented and Paul drove) and looked out for a while, like say 5 minutes and then drove on. We finally reached Moalboal at around 12 noon, after 5 stops for CR issues, food hoarding and just stretching. Dionie took care of the accomodations, he rented a 2 room cottage through a friend and aside from the food we bought from Carcar (lechon and lechon manok) we brought along pork for grilling!
So anyway, Moalboal is not like Bantayan wherein it's all a long stretch of powdery sand shore. Moalboal does have white sand but was damn rocky!!! When we got there, it was high tide, the current was kinda strong but who cared! 5 steps into the beach, sand-slash-rock-slash-corals gave way still to a sand-slash-rock-slash-corals slope of sorts. So it sloped down and all of a sudden got really deep which is baaaaddd for people like me who cannot swim! Thank god for my pink raft which Jimmy inflated himself! We had fun with that hehehe. Let me narrate different story that took place some 6 summers ago. My friends from CDO and I went to Camiguin to again, enjoy the tropical heat. The beach was kinda the same as that of Moalboal's rocky and steep coastline and fish actually swam towards us! While my friends were shrieking with glee at the colorful fish ("flounder!" they'd say in awe, mine was "FLOUNDER!" said in a horrified voice) I was running away from it! I mean it! I know they couldn't possibly bite me and hurt me but I dunno, I find it wierd for a colorful slimmy little creature to nib at my legs! So since the beach can't help it, it is after all the habitat for fish, I avioded the beach during the entire week we were there. Pathetic, I know... Anyway, back to Moalboal, the raft became boring after a while but JT and Dionie had some snorkling gear so I borrowed one just for the heck of it. I always aviod goggles in the beach because I honestly don't want see and know what was under water. But on this instance, what the hell, I tried on the snorkling stuff and my god, it was beautiful!!! The fish were sooo colorful and I dunno, they weren't scary to me anymore. The corals were interesting and the holes in the sand ground where filled with sea urchines! And one time, I saw an urchine out of the hole and I panicked and drank mouthfuls of seawater! Schools of little fish actually swam near my friends' legs! And there's one very curious fish that wasn't scared of me at all trying to reach for it! It was by far, one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced... aside from being able to float the right way, which always shockes me with a smile, by the way, it's like, I can't get over being able to float, hehe.
We had a pink sunset that Saturday, beautiful again... made me miss someone again :( Anyhow, towards night fall, the guys grilled the meat and we had a yummy dinner but the bad part was I had a pounding headache around 8pm and slept early. Sunday was just as fun. At around 6am, Paul and Jimmy and Elaine drove Rowie to San Tander for her to catch the fast craft/pump boat to Dumaguete and we then just waited for her in Moalboal since all she planned to do was greet her parents a happy wedding anniversary anyway. She got back around 4pm, we picked her up near the Moalboal market place and then drove to Cebu City. Funny thing, we ran oout of gas!!! The next gasoline station was 4km away but the people in the area where the car died out on us were so nice. One guy drove Paul to the gasoline station to buy some 3 litres of diesel and Paul just paid him. What was hilarious was that Paul hates motorcycle rides! So while he was riding, he was already picturing his guts splattered along the hi-way with blood everywhere! hehe, poor Paul... we finally had things going so we sped back to Cebu, dropped Dionie and JT off, picked up Kang from her place, had dinner at Manila Foodshoppe, went to Mountain View to enjoy the view of Cebu City's lights... perfect end to a perfect weekend...
some pics of the weekend:
best weekend since august 21, 2005
tony and veni resigned last march 30, 2006 and after party tete-a-tete, my crazy niche came up with an instantaneous plan to go to bantayan the next day (this conversation took place around 11pm!). when i further pressed, it was tony's idea to go to the island, no wonder the spontaneity. it kinda went like:
Tony: hey guys, let's go to bantayan tomorrow!
guys (everybody else): bantayan...? (probably a few seconds of silence, some trying to figure out where bantayan is... and then...) yeah sure! (unanimously agreeing to it anyway, nevermind that tomorrow was just a couple of hours away and to get to bantayan involved a 3 hour drive and then an hour's worth of ferry ride) anyway, we left the next day around 9am (with me only having 2 hours worth of sleep since i did mock calls the night previous which ended around 6am).
as usual, thanks to jimmy's brilliant planning and varied connections, a v-hire picked us up at pipc 9am sharp. junpaul, aaron, rowie, tintin n., veni and tony and i loaded the van and sped off to hagnaya. the driver and his buddy (i think there has to be a buddy else the driver would be bored to death on the trip back without annoying passengers keeping him awake) estimated that we wouldn't make the 12noon ferry so they took their time and stopped for lunch. when we reached the wharf, the ferry was just leaving! damn! had we sped up a bit and had they not stopped for food (i'm so mean), we would have made it! scheiße! but as we did those things, and the ferry left without us, we had to wait for another one for 2 more hours... so we were at the pier, reading books (those who thought ahead to bring some), did picture-picture, joked around due to boredom, played i dunno what games those were, ate camote-Q hehe and found ways to entertain ourselves. we survived that bit.
finally, the ferry arrived 2:45pm. the boat ride was sooo nice coz it was already around 3 pm that the ferry left the wharf and for some reason, the sun was not scorching and the sea breeze quite refreshing, not the usual sticky, heavy summer sea breeze. we sat at the very back and sang songs we never got around finishing and nobody complained! no one even gave us funny looks or dagger looks... they did ignore us but hey we didn't really expect them to sing with us, so it was cool. so we sang unfinished songs all the way to the island and got there around 4:30pm. we rode the tricycle to budyong beach resort but--thank god!--it was fully booked so jimmy and i went to the one right across it, kota beach resort, which was not full but those which were not occupied were not so nice either. the one right next to budyong was just perfect, Yooneek beach resort. it looked new and had monkeys. i mean it, they have 2 monkeys chained to a contraption of sorts. the staff was really nice and accomodating, the price was very affordable, the food was great and reasonably priced too.
we finally settled there and went for a swim around 5pm already. the tide was out so we had to walk really far to get a respectable depth and sigh, it was perfect... the sun was about to set, the water was perfect, paul lit a cigarette for me and best of all, i was able to float for more than 5 minutes! really float! not like the usaul scene where i'd pretend to finally be able to do it but my feet would touching the sand, or my lower torso was struggling to maintain a relaxed state... REALLY FLOAT!!! it was beautiful... it was the most relaxing state i've been in, just floating on the water, the current was so gentle, i can hear my friends joking nearby, looking at the sky touch the sea, my attempt at romanticizing the experience probably sucks but the point being, the trip was unexpectedly beautiful...
it was by far the best weekend since, well, august 21, 2005... thanks guys! :-)
as for what happened last august 21, 2005, let's save that for some other boring afternoon when i'd have nothing to do but reminisce... ;-)
Tony: hey guys, let's go to bantayan tomorrow!
guys (everybody else): bantayan...? (probably a few seconds of silence, some trying to figure out where bantayan is... and then...) yeah sure! (unanimously agreeing to it anyway, nevermind that tomorrow was just a couple of hours away and to get to bantayan involved a 3 hour drive and then an hour's worth of ferry ride) anyway, we left the next day around 9am (with me only having 2 hours worth of sleep since i did mock calls the night previous which ended around 6am).
as usual, thanks to jimmy's brilliant planning and varied connections, a v-hire picked us up at pipc 9am sharp. junpaul, aaron, rowie, tintin n., veni and tony and i loaded the van and sped off to hagnaya. the driver and his buddy (i think there has to be a buddy else the driver would be bored to death on the trip back without annoying passengers keeping him awake) estimated that we wouldn't make the 12noon ferry so they took their time and stopped for lunch. when we reached the wharf, the ferry was just leaving! damn! had we sped up a bit and had they not stopped for food (i'm so mean), we would have made it! scheiße! but as we did those things, and the ferry left without us, we had to wait for another one for 2 more hours... so we were at the pier, reading books (those who thought ahead to bring some), did picture-picture, joked around due to boredom, played i dunno what games those were, ate camote-Q hehe and found ways to entertain ourselves. we survived that bit.
finally, the ferry arrived 2:45pm. the boat ride was sooo nice coz it was already around 3 pm that the ferry left the wharf and for some reason, the sun was not scorching and the sea breeze quite refreshing, not the usual sticky, heavy summer sea breeze. we sat at the very back and sang songs we never got around finishing and nobody complained! no one even gave us funny looks or dagger looks... they did ignore us but hey we didn't really expect them to sing with us, so it was cool. so we sang unfinished songs all the way to the island and got there around 4:30pm. we rode the tricycle to budyong beach resort but--thank god!--it was fully booked so jimmy and i went to the one right across it, kota beach resort, which was not full but those which were not occupied were not so nice either. the one right next to budyong was just perfect, Yooneek beach resort. it looked new and had monkeys. i mean it, they have 2 monkeys chained to a contraption of sorts. the staff was really nice and accomodating, the price was very affordable, the food was great and reasonably priced too.
we finally settled there and went for a swim around 5pm already. the tide was out so we had to walk really far to get a respectable depth and sigh, it was perfect... the sun was about to set, the water was perfect, paul lit a cigarette for me and best of all, i was able to float for more than 5 minutes! really float! not like the usaul scene where i'd pretend to finally be able to do it but my feet would touching the sand, or my lower torso was struggling to maintain a relaxed state... REALLY FLOAT!!! it was beautiful... it was the most relaxing state i've been in, just floating on the water, the current was so gentle, i can hear my friends joking nearby, looking at the sky touch the sea, my attempt at romanticizing the experience probably sucks but the point being, the trip was unexpectedly beautiful...
it was by far the best weekend since, well, august 21, 2005... thanks guys! :-)
as for what happened last august 21, 2005, let's save that for some other boring afternoon when i'd have nothing to do but reminisce... ;-)
surreal encounter one holy week
while jimmy and i were walking to the hi-way from pipc to wait for a jeep to get me home (he was considering going with me in the hopes that the tapsilogan place near "my" apartment was open) this guy from peoplsupport just cut-in infront of us. ok, you're wondering how we'd know he was from ps; the thing is, he came from the ps office's direction and, this is the dead give-away, he was still wearing his id. he was in a rush to get ahead of us on the sidewalk, he probably figured we were just taking our time, prancing under a beautiful sky at around 3am. seriously, it was a serene night and that would have been a romantic walk but i was jimmy (not that there's anything wrong with jimmy--i love you jim--just that, oh you know, jimmy knows...). i mean, it had the elements of magic: full moon, millions of stars, crisp night breeze and witty conversation. sigh, i miss, oh never mind! ... anyway, i have a story to tell, so let me proceed...
so we got to the hi-way and the ps guy was already there (obviously since he cut in) and we prepared ourselves for a long wait for any passenger jeep to come route since it was good friday. apparently, the ps guy was also waiting for a jeep (we figured as much since he never made an attempt to hail a cab and duh, it was pretty self-explanatory). well we couldn't care any less as we had lotsss of things to talk about: how 1&1 is soooo wonderful and how we love working for 1&1, you get the gist. when after around 30 minutes of standing, all of a sudden, ps guy approached us and i knew, i knew before he could even say a word, that, well, can you guess what he said/did?
hmmm, what possible conclusions could be derived from that scene? of course not! he could not have mugged us, he wouldn't have considered it, jimmy was bigger than him! did he invite us for an orgy, you might think? nope, not even, i looked ratty that time and it was good friday! did he want to apply with 1&1? no, not that either, he didn't know we were from 1&1, we were not wearing our ids. hehe, he walked over to where we were standing and said in this very good-natured way, "excuse me, are you guys waiting for a jeep?" and this was how the convo went:
ps guy (very friendly): excuse me, are you waiting for a jeep?
jimmy (very matter of fact): looks like it
ps guy (still friendly): ummm, i don't think there'll be one coming anytime soon.
dennise (sounding like a bitch as usual): yeah, we pretty much figured that ourselves.
ps guy (still friendly): so both of you live in talamban?
jimmy (still sounding very matter of fact): no
ps guy (confused look in his face but still friendly): ok, so why are you waiting for a jeep that is headed for talamban?
dennise (still sounding bitchy, hey i can't help it!): i live there and he's accompanying me there, also he's in the hopes that the tapsilog place is still open.
ps guy: it was closed a while ago, but maybe it'll be open now
dennise: if it was close earlier today, why would it be open now?
ps guy: i don't know
jimmy: so you live in talamban?
ps guy: no, i live in pitos and taxi fare costs P120 so i was wondering if maybe we could share a cab?
dennise: sure (i mean, he looked harmless and jimmy and i could take him or whatever)
jimmy (talking to me): do you have money with you?
dennise (looking sheepish): no, no money. don't you have money with you? we could stop by my place and i'll pay you there?
jimmy: i have 500 and i doubt if the cab has change for it
ps guy: well, if you have P50, i'm cool with that
jimmy: nope, we don't have that. all i have is P12 worth of change for the jeepney fare and the 500
ps guy: i think i have change for 500 (checks in his wallet) shit, i don't have enough! i'm paul, by the way.
dennise: dennise
jimmy: jimmy
ps guy: so was i interrupting you guys?
dennise: not at all, we were just bitching
ps guy: can i stay around?
jimmy: sure, like what she said, we were just bitching
ps guy: hey, if the tapsilog place is open, i might join you if that's ok?
jimmy: no prob
dennise: we need to hail a cab now, i'm sooo tired
jimmy: denz, i really doubt if they have change for the 500
ps guy: i have change so we use this and check if the tapsilog place is open
(YES, THE CONVERSATION WAS IN ENGLISH!)
so we decided to get a cab and didn't plan further, i mean what if the tapsilog place was close? and of course, just when we have decided to take a taxi, no taxi passed by! paul had some cigarettes with him and just when i thought i could handle some more waiting as long as we had some cigarettes, i could not find my lighter!!! whatthe?! we had to wait for a good 10 minutes before we got a cab. and of course, the only one that passed by was an old kia that didn't have aircon! so we went in and the cab drove onwards and when we were infront of country mall, on a stop light (which was around 2 minutes after we sat in it) a jeep passed by! and when we got to the tapsilog place, it was closed! so we went to my place to get my money and had the cab go to mabolo in the hopes that the tapsilog place was open, and finally, it was open!!! since paul, the ps guy, paid for the cab, i bought him his meal. as we were waiting for the food to be served, we had this get-to-know-you session of sorts, jeez you will not believe it! i knew about his gf who got stabbed in manila and what happened when he went there to visit her (that's for jimmy and me only, very juicy story!) and his business in dipolog, his family affairs, his relationship with his dad, his stupid customers, etc... and all this information in a span of 10 minutes while waiting for our orders to be served!
anyway, we had fun, typical call-center talk: stupid customers, classic lines, funny incidents, rewarding calls and work satisfaction. we finally hailed a cab around 4:30am and even till then, paul still had his id.
so jimmy and i got down from the cab on the hi-way, not directly outside my doorstep, and i waited for jimmy to get a jeep (which was quite instantaneous) and so i walked a couple of meters to my place. say around 5 steps to my door, 5 dogs caught up with me and were barking all over the place! shit, i thought "this is it, i'd finally have the chance to use my healthcard!" and "please oh please, let them not be rabid" and "i'm going to poison these dogs tomorrow!" and i was swinging my sling bag wildly and stomping my feet! it must have been a sight to behold because the dogs left me. and i walked the 5 steps to my door, looked for my key in my bag (it took me a good 2 minutes to find it) and got in. only when i was removing the straps of my sandals did i realize i was shaking...
moral of the story: always let the taxi get inside the compound to avoid dog-attacks!
the end
so we got to the hi-way and the ps guy was already there (obviously since he cut in) and we prepared ourselves for a long wait for any passenger jeep to come route since it was good friday. apparently, the ps guy was also waiting for a jeep (we figured as much since he never made an attempt to hail a cab and duh, it was pretty self-explanatory). well we couldn't care any less as we had lotsss of things to talk about: how 1&1 is soooo wonderful and how we love working for 1&1, you get the gist. when after around 30 minutes of standing, all of a sudden, ps guy approached us and i knew, i knew before he could even say a word, that, well, can you guess what he said/did?
hmmm, what possible conclusions could be derived from that scene? of course not! he could not have mugged us, he wouldn't have considered it, jimmy was bigger than him! did he invite us for an orgy, you might think? nope, not even, i looked ratty that time and it was good friday! did he want to apply with 1&1? no, not that either, he didn't know we were from 1&1, we were not wearing our ids. hehe, he walked over to where we were standing and said in this very good-natured way, "excuse me, are you guys waiting for a jeep?" and this was how the convo went:
ps guy (very friendly): excuse me, are you waiting for a jeep?
jimmy (very matter of fact): looks like it
ps guy (still friendly): ummm, i don't think there'll be one coming anytime soon.
dennise (sounding like a bitch as usual): yeah, we pretty much figured that ourselves.
ps guy (still friendly): so both of you live in talamban?
jimmy (still sounding very matter of fact): no
ps guy (confused look in his face but still friendly): ok, so why are you waiting for a jeep that is headed for talamban?
dennise (still sounding bitchy, hey i can't help it!): i live there and he's accompanying me there, also he's in the hopes that the tapsilog place is still open.
ps guy: it was closed a while ago, but maybe it'll be open now
dennise: if it was close earlier today, why would it be open now?
ps guy: i don't know
jimmy: so you live in talamban?
ps guy: no, i live in pitos and taxi fare costs P120 so i was wondering if maybe we could share a cab?
dennise: sure (i mean, he looked harmless and jimmy and i could take him or whatever)
jimmy (talking to me): do you have money with you?
dennise (looking sheepish): no, no money. don't you have money with you? we could stop by my place and i'll pay you there?
jimmy: i have 500 and i doubt if the cab has change for it
ps guy: well, if you have P50, i'm cool with that
jimmy: nope, we don't have that. all i have is P12 worth of change for the jeepney fare and the 500
ps guy: i think i have change for 500 (checks in his wallet) shit, i don't have enough! i'm paul, by the way.
dennise: dennise
jimmy: jimmy
ps guy: so was i interrupting you guys?
dennise: not at all, we were just bitching
ps guy: can i stay around?
jimmy: sure, like what she said, we were just bitching
ps guy: hey, if the tapsilog place is open, i might join you if that's ok?
jimmy: no prob
dennise: we need to hail a cab now, i'm sooo tired
jimmy: denz, i really doubt if they have change for the 500
ps guy: i have change so we use this and check if the tapsilog place is open
(YES, THE CONVERSATION WAS IN ENGLISH!)
so we decided to get a cab and didn't plan further, i mean what if the tapsilog place was close? and of course, just when we have decided to take a taxi, no taxi passed by! paul had some cigarettes with him and just when i thought i could handle some more waiting as long as we had some cigarettes, i could not find my lighter!!! whatthe?! we had to wait for a good 10 minutes before we got a cab. and of course, the only one that passed by was an old kia that didn't have aircon! so we went in and the cab drove onwards and when we were infront of country mall, on a stop light (which was around 2 minutes after we sat in it) a jeep passed by! and when we got to the tapsilog place, it was closed! so we went to my place to get my money and had the cab go to mabolo in the hopes that the tapsilog place was open, and finally, it was open!!! since paul, the ps guy, paid for the cab, i bought him his meal. as we were waiting for the food to be served, we had this get-to-know-you session of sorts, jeez you will not believe it! i knew about his gf who got stabbed in manila and what happened when he went there to visit her (that's for jimmy and me only, very juicy story!) and his business in dipolog, his family affairs, his relationship with his dad, his stupid customers, etc... and all this information in a span of 10 minutes while waiting for our orders to be served!
anyway, we had fun, typical call-center talk: stupid customers, classic lines, funny incidents, rewarding calls and work satisfaction. we finally hailed a cab around 4:30am and even till then, paul still had his id.
so jimmy and i got down from the cab on the hi-way, not directly outside my doorstep, and i waited for jimmy to get a jeep (which was quite instantaneous) and so i walked a couple of meters to my place. say around 5 steps to my door, 5 dogs caught up with me and were barking all over the place! shit, i thought "this is it, i'd finally have the chance to use my healthcard!" and "please oh please, let them not be rabid" and "i'm going to poison these dogs tomorrow!" and i was swinging my sling bag wildly and stomping my feet! it must have been a sight to behold because the dogs left me. and i walked the 5 steps to my door, looked for my key in my bag (it took me a good 2 minutes to find it) and got in. only when i was removing the straps of my sandals did i realize i was shaking...
moral of the story: always let the taxi get inside the compound to avoid dog-attacks!
the end
on turning 24
i turned 24 yesterday... and year after year since i turned 16, i wait for that one blast of vision or understanding, that one glimpse of truth that would reveal something profound about myself, my life, my direction in life if there be any, but there was nothing. no life changing, split-second wave of wisdom to overwhelm me to a speechless state of reflection. yesterday, after eating cancer-prone, carcinogenic filled grilled meat with good friends and then consuming a pack of cigarettes and then having blended iced coffee at 3am, i went home, tired, sleepy, grumpy, and horny. on my balcony, barefoot, i smoked some more, drank more coffee straight from the sachet and, i'd like to say i reflected on my 24 years of existence, but it was more like staring blankly into space.
and then the howling of the dogs snapped me out of my blank reverie and i got to thinking:
1. i need to lose weight
2. i haven't had sex in 8 months
3. i should (but i doubt if i ever will) stop smoking
4. i miss someone so much
5. in one breath im in love and in the next im annoyed at him
6. i should be going to sleep shortly
7. i need to sweep my room and get my laundry from the laundry shop
8. i have to catch up on some good literature
9. look up for the lyrics of stop crying your heart out
10. i can't wait for august...
11. or maybe september...
and then the howling of the dogs snapped me out of my blank reverie and i got to thinking:
1. i need to lose weight
2. i haven't had sex in 8 months
3. i should (but i doubt if i ever will) stop smoking
4. i miss someone so much
5. in one breath im in love and in the next im annoyed at him
6. i should be going to sleep shortly
7. i need to sweep my room and get my laundry from the laundry shop
8. i have to catch up on some good literature
9. look up for the lyrics of stop crying your heart out
10. i can't wait for august...
11. or maybe september...
Friday, August 17, 2007
Actually...
Most of the posts here are from my other blog because its url is too long for me to remember. I'm transfering the entries here and so this will be where I'll be updating--i dunno, stuff. The contents that are posted are not meant to give enlightenment nor urge you to ponder philosophical questions about the world and yourself. Nope, at the very most, they'll make you smile, if you're lucky...
You have been forewarned.
You have been forewarned.
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